Archive | June 2022

Soul Cries

have you ever heard a soul-cry

from the deepest wound

the darkest recess of your being

akin to the sudden news of

the death

of your child

or your mother dies

last night you desired to say

I love you

and saved it for tomorrow

tomorrow never came

the child died

in her mother’s arms

the mother died out of pain

you witness this

your heart screams

out of the blue

amidst work

without notice

or a clue

you wail


these soul cries

you witness

while raindrops

drizzle from dry eyes

a sudden halt

pin drop silence

returning from unity

to duality

your work resumes

once again

you’ll witness

daunting howls

from within

in due time

I ask me to

save me fro me

rescue me from all

I desire

none but you

none but you

illall ant


I guess it’s hard for me

to process

even believe

that I can be loved

to this degree

I am hurt broken and sad

like a clown

I wear a smile

a mask

I question

could I truly be loved

so beautifully

so wholly

so desirably

I always thought

I loved too hard

too much

way beyond the brim


only to face utter ruin

so I gave up

I resorted to my

cave within

where I would work


guarding my heart


every passerby

incase I would fall


upon a harmless


so I shielded myself

from curious gazes

who have no right

to see my cries

my eyes downcast

my heart empty

afraid to die

once again

I stayed aloof

then you arrived

ruining my life

my walled city

fell to dust

my free spirit

caged once again

yet free once again

by your love

neither here nor there

I’m ruined once again

until we unite

as one again

I love you

Circus Life

love taught me

the life of circus men

I trained with tigers

tamed lions

slept with elephants

balanced on

trapezes so high

I danced with fire

summer saluted in the wind

walked over water

escaped many a time

yet love found me

over and over again

enslaved to this mad

circus called life

chained to love

I became a prisoner

a failed fugitive

I wanted no more

I wanted a home

I wanted all animals to be set free

magic was my favorite escape

I learned to do great tricks

watching the master herself

I learned the art of being all but me

I found subjects to join me

I impressed Houdini

I met with I dream of genie

attached I became to

animals and a backstage crew

applauds and encores

I grew fond

yet equally empty

my training from childhood

in circus captivity

I learned how to

be a clown

a magician

a dancer

the living climax of illusion

I became a mystery

I learned the art of juggling

all this training

reminds me of


to be versatile


to experience pain

to detach


to be chained

to balance with poise

to wake up early

to sleep modestly

to put on a show

to share my talents

so hearts could smile

so children would laugh

all I really wanted

was that lopsided

two seater bike

a tent

and my partner in crime

I am Faulty

I am not from the lineage who put their brother in the well

I am from the lineage of the sacrificial son

I am a lover from the loins of Husaain with undeniable claims

I am faulty but worthy

in my love for you, doubt me not

I am not selfish or selfless yet

full of hypocrisy, will you still love me

true and so I question

lineage or none

true nobility is found in actions


our mannerism

remind thyself

we shun none

all worthy

under the sun

This Breath a Secret

my breath is fire

have you heard me breathe

my breath is reserved

for the beloved

had I allowed privy

to all

I would set many ablaze

my breath is secret

like a fire breathing dragon

I must contain myself

your life in danger

beware I warn

for I too have died

being privy to my breath

The Sun Smiles

when your heart melts

all flowers come to life

I hear birds chirping

the sun smiles

the moon dances

my vision no longer blurred

by sand clouds

or dust storms

when your heart melts

it warms the universe

with the potency of love

giving rise to the tide

showering hope to humanity

our hearts


thank you

for being you

I love you

Des – Jardins

a tad too much machoism

contoured with do’s and don’ts

chiseled jawlines

a dark haired fantasy

sea green soul stares

all day long

a dress called black

we forgot


pashmina & silk

pleading for memories

we forgot

the origin

the fragrance of magic

in the feminine

let love love


her own way

it’s fine


when her masculine

overpowered her

satin and linen

an acid wash effect

on heart and soul

the new fabric

she pushed her lover

to fears and ultimatums

what was des jar-dins

now a present day scarp yard

we look for love

yet to find us broken

Subverted Ideals

love is here to break our standards

of normal and accepted ideals

can we love still so passionately

If all our ideals were subverted


Agony in Absence of Rabitah

agony is not separation

agony is a disconnection

one may be separated

yet connected

without conscious


how does one sustain love

with the spirits no longer

on earth


but with an existing body

why withhold so?

This New Moon

since love is my sustenance

I would withstand all its




than to desert it

than to leave it

than to not be


for the sake of sanity

or a path of sobriety

this new moon

has caused an onslaught

of my heart

once again

this love incomparable

to any transient gain

my heart

in pain

once again

pain became bearable

where love is real

this is not toxicity

as coaches describe

this is fana

where we reside