panting for water
you died in her lap
drank to your fill
quenched 
revived through her gaze 
love’s touch 
never to return 
not even a smile
betraying your spiritual mothers
you repeat the crime of womb betrayal
the cycle repeats 

The emotional absence
a test of your resilience
when love remained conditional
love too was temporary 
seasonal
a loyalist is tested 
a lover is tested
love is magical 
love becomes ugly
love is the greatest irony
so waters may be tested
for purity and false claims 
filtered and sifted 
as sand to water
remain with Laila
depart like Shams
battle her like Yazid 
proclaim like Hallaj
Jacob’s separation 
an inevitable reunion
of a torn shirt and tears
where sorrow left fear
pure bliss, now drink
a sip from Kawther
for Alchemized hearts 
none but the elect 
this fountain of purity
for lovers of unity 
transformed to gold
this emotional absence
the absence illusory
presence remains eternal 
with souls of our fraternity 

This exchange
immeasurable 
unquantifiable 
incomparable 

If poison is the cure
I dare you to
consume the poison 
within that resides 
and seeks itself 
to cure itself
through itself

When my thoughts 
raced faster than this heartbeat
and breath vanished into thin air
It was time to slow down 

leaving logos behind
this travel homeward 
a circling of the heart 
that continues eternally 
they said it was a must 
to become crazy
before becoming a mystic