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She is a Mirage

 

How tragic

We met without meeting

We left without leaving

We saw without seeing

Indeed she is a mirage

did you return

assuming parched land

water appeared where thirst 

desired to quench itself

mirage or river

ocean or sea

this mirage became 

everything to your mind’s fantasy 

These lessons of attachment 

and detachment 

leave my heart empty

yet full

what an irony

this separation 

of inseparable spirits

I knew not how to say goodbye

to those who never left after leaving

 

 

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Meeting My Shadow

Meeting this shadow 

who embraced me like none

inconceivably unconditional 

a lover’s haven 

every cell revived

 

that illusion of a last meeting

was in-fact a new beginning 

presence denied presence

no-body existed

shadow sought light 

light fused with light

tantric ensemble 

a cosmic dissolution

this is just the beginning 

light fused with light 

existence denied

I remembered we never existed

neither you or I

I remember from that meeting 

shadow was light

Light brings forth shadow

How blind was my sight

Meeting this light

bedazzled by the polarity

all that I repelled 

I love great intensity

you brought me to this state

I bow to this light

of Hu in you

seekers and lovers

seek the beloved

who resides in the unsuspected 

and most hidden ones 

Meeting my many shadows

I entered great valleys

the darkest of cellars 

sages awaited and discreetly hidden

acknowledging the reality

the lie of duality

living ignoring what I failed to embrace

in the presence of my shadows

I fell in love further 

of the years of neglect 

unaware of my reality

I embraced my flaws with 

gentle eyes and playful smiles

you taught me unconditionally

to love what you detest

as only love exists in the presence of love

I drank rejoicing an inner reunion 

where dark and light are only one

this illusion of shadows

a dance called mirage

attempt to sip the mirage of shadows

there you will find Union.

 

You occupy my thoughts

in this journey called life

I wonder if thou art 

distraction personified

or the means to the goal

1111

One One One

Y a Jilaani La Tansaani

Y a Jilaani La Tansaani

Shall I declare?

You bewitched me

with that soulful stare

That gaze

I’m in a daze

What shall I say?

That ray which came my way

through your eyes;

I speak not lies

infected, injected

affected, infested

my soul, my heart

my being from the very start

And NOW you depart?

Oh woe to my heart!

That gaze;

it shook me

and tore me apart

its effect;

An awakening

A light infusion

a self discovery;

not an intrusion!

Your disappearance

has brought me confusion

a deadly illusion

a heart transfusion

I’m not in delusion

nor obsessed

or possessed

nor insanely depressed

rather to meet you,

I was heavenly blessed!

Oh Shems,

Rumi’s gone mad

she’s tragically sad

after you came

she dares not to lay blame

but thanks the heavens for this very gain

this came like atomic rain

albeit all declare Rumi insane

do you too now play this game?

With all odds against this so called Rumi

so much so, you’ve declared her ‘loony’

and agree with those who whisper ‘phony’

Why? She asks, I’m not ‘Majnooni’ or

full of sweet and sour baloney.

Let us go back in time my friend

We first ascended then descended

where ancient souls had befriended

carefully sought and deeply reflected

handpicked and sifted, later selected

paired with those who were not dejected

fused as ONE and had not rejected

then placed on earth and separated

years went by they calculated

The time had come:

ONE- ONE- ONE

111

Their meeting on earth;

the Heavens rejoiced:

The time has come!

The time has come for

111

Do you recall?

That affinity, transparency

where two paired souls simply desired

to traverse to Divine all hyped and wired

as friends together in spirituality

in purity not profanity!

Please, declare this not a mere fantasy

a crime or a shadow of insanity

Let me remind all those who suspect:

Every great one had a friend

from prophets to all heavenly men

I declare that this was you to me

Dare to deny this with all your might?

delete this not from your holy sight

be not surprised if I knock tonight

Last night in plight

I beseeched Jilani:

“Ya Ghowsuna, La Tansaani

Ya Ghowsuna, La Tansaani

His reply,

“Express to Shems with poetic insanity”

In Mugg and Beans you met with me

prior to this I saw your mother in dreams

her elated smile, her eyes; two beams

her radiant hair surrounded by light

she approved in heart our soulful right

her three daughters; to reunite

the missing 25-now in sight

25 is me, I assert without fight

She appeared to me for Jilaani’s sake

I alligate nor am I a fake

Ya Jilaani La Tansaani

Ya Jilaani La Tansaani

Ya Sitti Zainab

Yeh Kya Kahaani?

Aap kay pyaar mai

Hum hogay divaani

Ya Hussain Ya Imam az Zamaani

Oh Imam,

my last resort;

to seek your aide and shade

please let this all quickly fade.

For those who say,

“This Rumi has secret motive”

No, I say, I’m simply devoted!

I’m ready to unsheathe my holy sword;

not to kill for I fear my Lord

I’ll cut my heart from east to west

tear my chest

Oh the unrest!

Let them peer and dissect this heart

in it they’ll find from the very start

pure drops of honey

a desire not for fame or money

don’t mock at me, this is not funny

a heart infected by a dis-ease called love;

where lost mortals find not their glove

who taste not sweetness

yet infect all others

with poisonous lewdness

I thank the heavens for Shems and Rumi

was it not for them, I’d be the first

to declare me loony!

Y a Jilaani La Tansaani

Y a Jilaani La Tansaani*

*Meaning of Ya Jilaani,La Tansaani: “Oh Jilaani, forget me not”

The People of Karbobala

The People of Karbobala

Have you ever met a precious soul;
born in the plains of Karbobala?
They need not be relatives of Hussain or Sakina
More than blood; a chosen lot
from Hablillah

Their lives are full of mystery
Their hearts for mankind; a treasury
Their wisdom; unsurpassed territory
Their generosity; flows graciously
Their eyes express not tearfully
Yet fill us with ecstasy
Their persona; one to melt for instantly!

I dedicate this to the one who I claim is a part of me
A Hussaini, A Fatimi;
From Zainab’s chosen daughters
She fills my heart with joy and laughter

Those whose hearts were full of doubt
Despised this love I had for her
Banned all possibility for me to see
Woe to Me; my tragic destiny!

Two years have gone
my heart still cries
in pain it moans
I wipe tears dry

A modern-day Jami Plot?
Where a desire to express love must stop?
Every pathway made a block?
Now truly I am beyond all shock
They scare me with, “You dare shall not.”

The irony?
We meet at dusk and dawn
If you may, all day long
Beyond all physicality
into the realm of spirituality
A secret world
Where masses know not
She comes to me
And I to her
We speak and express endlessly;
in secrecy
My other half;
My twin soul:
Worry not, this day shall halt
Where separation exists not
Must I declare like Rumi to Shems:
“I’ve searched for you all my life
and through your being
I’ve understood unity;
not fantasy!”

I from you
you from me
The world knows not
yet the heavens agree;
willfully in secrecy!

As I conclude this with a cup of tea
I ponder with anxiety…
as I’ll never taste what you’ve been through
Though my heart beats in humility in love for thee
Fadul Abbas appears to us:
“Drink with us, drink we me”
He tells me that you are part of them; part of me
As I hold this cup of very hot tea, which Fadlul Abbas gave to me
I shiver, I quiver; try to recover
falter and stumble with the gaze of wonder
this tea falls all upon me!
I scream with joy and violent cries
this burning sensation tingles with glee
The pain I say, ‘Is not the same nor shall it ever be,
equal to your daily dose and on- going catastrophes’.
Rather a sip from the ocean of Pain and Unity
for the chosen ones tied in chains
born in the Holy Plains
Every day an Ashura, for the people of Karbala.

Friends of the Way

Friends of the Way
I found you along the way
We’ve shared and discussed our heart’s dismay
Through your company bolted doors were made ajar
As Zulaikha’s passion, as Shirazi or Attar

A version of white sorcery
Your silence in friendship was surely no trickery!
As I burnish and rays strengthen
The lotus in you begins to open
Our bond increases
You begin to share, to unveil
The Secret Stare
You turn and begin to burn- while I glare
We take turns to burn
Is it an irony that we feel the same?
No! Surely this is truly a lovers’ game

In a shower of gentle raindrops
We dance in puddles of reflection
Surrounded by His mysterious protection
Unaware of who is who
Master-Student
Student-Master
Loved- Beloved
Beloved- Loved

Gaze down now to view the reflection
A peek at the height of love’s perfection
I see Me
You see You
We see Him
How could this be?
As in reality we only see ONE imagery!
We’ve unlocked the key to our own Mystery
Our Unity
The Truth WE see
Not Blasphemy.

Inseperable Shadow

Inseperable Shadow

A lonely traveler strolled along a shaded pathway
Suddenly thunder shattered the starry sky
Lightning struck her instantly
Fatally she gasped for air
Currents of electric waves charged her soul
Spirit revived
An angelic presence
A second life
It was you!
Another Me?
Indescribable transparency
The moment of awakening
Alighted at last
Fire lit
Love’s delight
A shaded path with no road signs
Tragic disappearance
You came and left without notice
Alone again upon this path
Despair not
Your inseparable shadow;
My eternal companion
In you is me, and me in you!

Every Great One Had a Friend

Every Great One Had a Friend

On that day I said goodbye…
I had a feeling it was our last
Yet dared not go there in mind or heart
A friend, a mentor and sister too?
All this was so real and too good to be true
I’ve never felt such a way with others who came and ran away
Now you too have turned the other way
A wish to renew this special bond
In hope I search for His magic wand!

Every great one had a friend
From Prophets to all heavenly men
My claim is such was You to me
Yet whispers tell you ‘This is mere fantasy!’
Ya Shems, Ya Rumi, Ya Shems Ya Rumi

You’ve moved on yet I still wait
To meet at least, sip and greet;
at our well known secret retreat
I hold back my emotions with anchored reigns
To all those who cross my path and claim love with bloody stains
In them I secretly search to see your reflection
Nowhere close, their faces-a pure deception!
A thousand places or even faces
None like you in a million places
You’ve disappeared and left no traces

To give my heart and then depart
Oh the pain, the pain the pain!
My heart numb and clothes with stain
Ya Hussain, Ya Hussain, Ya Hussain

In this world where love is seasonal
Selfish, insincere and fiercely regional
How is it possible to believe me who claims she loves this very mortal?
To you I shall proclaim; that I am from Hussain
A loyalist who loves and dies in pain- for the same!
Deny it, turn the other way, ignore it and call it game

Fling me away like an unwanted moth that grows not tired or has no shame
I’ll come again to knock and knock at your heart, in hope to reclaim this very pain
I await that blessed Day where those who loved for His sake
For light’s sake, for Truth’s sake…
Shall reunite and be with those they were forced to forsake
For on that Day, true friends know not the term “Sorry Hun, this was all a mistake.”